By ANDREW ROSS SORKIN
\nFebruary 3, 2014
\nIt seems that just about every day a chief executive, politician or other prominent figure is apologizing for something.<\/p>\n
Target\u2019s chief executive, Gregg W. Steinhafel, apologized for a security breach that affected as many as 110 million customers. Jamie Dimon of JPMorgan Chase apologized, multiple times, for his firm\u2019s regulatory lapses. Gov. Chris Christie of New Jersey apologized for controversial bridge lane closings and traffic jams. The venture capitalist Tom Perkins apologized after comparing the treatment of America\u2019s wealthiest to the treatment of Jews in Nazi Germany. LeBron James apologized for using the word \u201cretarded,\u201d calling it a \u201cbad habit.\u201d<\/p>\n
The age of the apology is clearly upon us \u2014 and it is not just about being polite. It has become de rigueur, an almost reflexive response among leaders to a mistake or, worse, a true crisis. The art of the apology has become a carefully choreographed dance: Say you are sorry, show vulnerability, tell everyone you are \u201ctaking responsibility\u201d and then end with, \u201cI hope to put this behind me.\u201d<\/p>\n
If you\u2019re questioning the sincerity of this apology movement, there\u2019s good reason. Dov Seidman, a careful observer of societal trends and the founder of LRN, a firm that advises companies on their cultures and how they can translate them into better performance, has been tracking the apology trend for many years. He has become so troubled \u2014 and offended \u2014 by the ease with which apologies seem to roll off the tongues of our leaders that he called for an \u201capology cease-fire\u201d in front of several dozen chief executives and politicians at the World Economic Forum meeting in Davos, Switzerland.<\/p>\n
He calls the modern apology simply \u201capology theater.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe apologies \u2014 and the way we react \u2014 are so much about the performance. Are those real tears? Are they not real tears?\u201d Mr. Seidman asked. \u201cBut we aren\u2019t judging the aftermath.\u201d<\/p>\n
He reminded me that Elton John sang the classic song \u201cSorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word\u201d back in 1976. Apparently, it is not that hard to say anymore.<\/p>\n
But what does saying \u201csorry\u201d mean when it\u2019s tossed around with the frequency of a Justin Bieber scandal?<\/p>\n
The venture capitalist Tom Perkins apologized for comparing the treatment of wealthy Americans to the Nazi’s persecution of Jews, although he stood by his belief in the danger of demonizing the rich.
\nROBERT GALBRAITH \/ REUTERS
\n\u201cApology-washing changes no one, neither the apologizer nor the recipient, because the act regurgitates a social norm rather than launching an emotional process,\u201d Mr. Seidman told me.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe foundation for this shortcutting starts in childhood, when parents force children to say \u2018I\u2019m sorry\u2019 as a way to educate them about appropriate behaviors. But all it does is teach children a verbal escape route,\u201d he said. \u201cWe must recognize that we don\u2019t apologize to get out of something, but rather to get into a new mode of thought and behavior. It\u2019s a beginning, not an end.\u201d<\/p>\n
Mr. Seidman suggests that leaders in apology mode conduct a \u201cmoral audit\u201d that includes a hard look at \u201cHow did I get here and how did I drift from the person I aspire to be?\u2019 \u201d<\/p>\n
Of course, few leaders are willing or, frankly, capable of that kind of introspection.<\/p>\n
So what\u2019s an example of a real and meaningful apology?<\/p>\n
Mr. Seidman points to Reed Hastings, the chief executive of Netflix, who apologized for adopting a strategy that would break the company into two and raise prices considerably. About 800,000 customers revolted.<\/p>\n
\u201cI messed up,\u201d Mr. Hastings said after it became clear the strategy was a mistake. \u201cI owe everyone an explanation. It is clear from the feedback over the past two months that many members felt we lacked respect and humility in the way we announced the separation of DVD and streaming, and the price changes.\u201d He added, \u201cIn hindsight, I slid into arrogance based upon past success.\u201d<\/p>\n
But it wasn\u2019t just the theater of the apology that made it a success. Netflix reversed course on its breakup strategy, doubled down on customer service and avoided new price increases.<\/p>\n
\u201cApologies, by their nature, are remedial; they seek to mitigate damage that has already been done. When admitting wrongdoing can cost an organization significant revenue or an individual his or her job, life or liberty, the temptation to avoid this gesture is enormous,\u201d Mr. Seidman wrote in his book, \u201cHow: Why How We Do Anything Means Everything.\u201d<\/p>\n
(As I was writing this column, it just so happened that the chief executive of The New York Times Company, Mark Thompson, apologized on Monday for the failure of a digital project while he was running the BBC.)<\/p>\n
But what should you do when you don\u2019t think you should apologize but everyone else does? You know the situation: Leaders \u201capologize\u201d but clearly don\u2019t mean it because they don\u2019t think they should be apologizing in the first place. They apologize to gain some good will from the public rather than defend the behavior that is being criticized.<\/p>\n
The financial crisis is a case in point. Many of the top leaders on Wall Street were tone deaf to the public early on; now they apologize at every turn. But are they really sorry?<\/p>\n
In truth, a leader should either apologize, mean it and do something about it \u2014 or not apologize at all.<\/p>\n
Of course, there will always be cynics when companies make good-faith apologies and seek to follow through. Companies will go through processes to remediate problems, hire lawyers and publish white papers and new \u201crules of the road.\u201d Some will be true efforts, others less so. And the cynics will invariably call the efforts a whitewash. But that shouldn\u2019t be an excuse not to try to make an apology real, either.<\/p>\n
Beginning on Tuesday, Mr. Seidman and I are starting \u201cApology Watch\u201d on the DealBook website (nytimes.com\/dealbook) and on Twitter using the hashtag #ApologyWatch. We hope readers will participate by helping us track new apologies and, more important, follow up on what companies, institutions and individuals have done post-apology.<\/p>\n
Mr. Seidman has written a thought-provoking essay that explains the apology epidemic and lays out a set of measurements for how apologies should be held to account, which you can find on the DealBook site. You can tweet Mr. Seidman at @DovSeidman.<\/p>\n
Public apologies demand a corresponding public engagement, and I hope that this column and subsequent ones will be a catalyst for a healthy, vigorous and insightful debate.<\/p>\n
Just don\u2019t say anything you\u2019ll have to apologize for later.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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